


introspection (ren

by Hunter (Amporasanyone)



Category: Original Work, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: salty why did you let me write this, this is just about my OC not about any of the actual characters dont feel the need to touch it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 22:09:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17434418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amporasanyone/pseuds/Hunter
Summary: yeah boiiiiii





	introspection (ren

Ren remembered most of the earliest parts of their childhood in almost excruciating detail. The screaming, the hitting, the pure glee on their parents faces the first time they’d pulled a simple staff out of the wall on purpose (the party they’d thrown to celebrate the emergence of Rens quirk, and the fact that it was the only time they were ever truly  _proud_ ) the fencing lessons they’d barely begun before  _it_ happened, barely old enough to hold a foil, taught by one of their “coworkers” the warehouse where Ren learned exactly what their parents did, and the bedroom where they made their escape plans with all the determination and self assurance a abused seven year old could muster. (A note about Ren- they call that child, there before the warehouse, abused. They have never applied that label to themself. This life is one amongst many, and they can recall those lives here and now. This doesn't change the fact that even now, they are an abuse survivor) 

 

(Another note about Ren- their plan for escape ended with them going to a hero, and  _demanding_  they return for Junji) 

 

Because in all those years they can remember, there is a single, solitary memory that stands out, happiness untouched by the terror and pain around it. Ren, all of four years old (and three weeks) finally being allowed to see their brother, all of two weeks. Ren, bright hair and impatience, bouncing on their feet trying to look into the bundle of blankets. And then, seeing his face - completeness. The key in a lock, a light turning on, a unknowingly halved creature made whole. Ren, all of four years old, seeing their soulmate for the first time, and second, and eighth, and all the times in lives that came before them, compressed into a single moment - now, he was Junji, and they were Ren, and they were together again. (A fact about the world they live in- you never forget the first time you see your soulmate again) 

 

If their flair for dramatics had ever taken a turn to the poetic, perhaps Ren would have searched for metaphors for that moment, seeking the language to describe the indescribable (they did, in another life. A star blossoming in empty space, a heart beating time with yours, a pull stronger and deeper than a black hole, a force more inevitable than the pounding of waves against the shore, two stars orbits tied together until they collide and combust- they never measured up) but they do not. They don’t want to describe their past lives at all, really. Two times ago, they think there was a cat, and they miss it, in a far off, nebulous way. But clearer, sharper, is memories of anger and blood lust and  _they can’t see why can’t they see blind leading the blind none of them see past their false idols hero’s can not protect them heroes can do nothing burn it **down buRN THEM ALL**_ \- no. remembering that life brings nothing good. 

 

That anger lives inside them still, and Ren, on a good day, is terrified of it. On bad days, they remember their parents idols and have to breath through the double memories, the pair that would have let the streets red with blood and the child who suffered under their parents worship. ( Ren is so, so thankful that they remembered none of their past life while under their parents rule. They can only imagine what would have happened. They think their parents would have been even prouder than the first time they used their quirk, and Ren wants to pull the power out of their very bones.) 

 

Ren didn’t become a hero to help people. Ren became a hero because they were cruel, and spiteful, and part of them still hadn’t grown past their last life, and that vengeful part was satiated by the idea of their parents horror at the idea of anyone with their name becoming something as terrible as a hero. 

 

(Ren still hates heroes. It’s why they remain with the Nova agency, content to barely keep their spots within the top hundred) 

(Ren doesn’t know if Junji knows that. They don’t ask.) 

(Junji is their other half, and their sibling besides. Her probably knows) 


End file.
